It is difficult to live by words of God. Loving enemies, freely sharing what we have, not stay angry overnight, to name a few. Each of these are very challenging values to live by and there are so many more all over the Bible. This is probably why the Pharisees and teachers of the law became obsessed with how they ‘look’ and rituals they obsessively follow to make sure they ‘feel’ like they are following all of God’s words.
Unfortunately, Jesus was not impressed because God looks at man’s heart. So, what does this actually mean? It means we actually need to love my enemies and not pretend it by smiling in front of them, being passive aggressive without actually trying to solve anything, or even giving them what they ask but judging them inside. Because God looks at our ‘heart,’ he so clearly sees that we do not love this person regardless of how we may 'look' to others. This makes following God’s words tremendously more challenging because we need to do it from inside out.
When it comes to teaching our children values, this idea is critical. We need to look at more than what our children do and try to look at and work on their inside. Especially with Christian teenagers, sometimes they feel dragged to church every Sunday or even at every Christian events parents volunteer at. Inside, they might be thinking they can’t wait to be old enough to choose whatever they want to do on Sundays. If this is what their heart is saying, are we actually doing good modelling living as a Christian? We all know that church attendance and amount of church work we do is not all about being a christian. Obviously, going to church and volunteering is meaningful act. Yet, we need to be very careful to make it a topic of argument or pressure kids to do church things without aligning with their hearts.
Then, how do we teach being a Christian without overly emphasizing on surface-like habits? How do we focus on character, the ‘heart?’ We need to start by truly modelling one. If we reflect on our behaviours, guilt tripping older children to do something is not Christian characteristics. Pressuring them without truly listening to them is not something that would make Jesus happy as much as not going to church or willingly volunteer at events.
Real effort in sitting down, looking at their heart over rude comments, attitudes or body language, and really trying to understand where they are coming from is the start. This is patience in love that Jesus would also do it for us. Open discussion only comes from understanding listening and not one directional lectures. To reach our older children in their hearts, we need to love (patience), not instruct. When hearts change, actions and words follow but not the other way around. When our children determine going to church and church events is important to them as well from the inside, they will go without complaints or protests.
Let’s shift the paradigm. We can start with our and their hearts and then actions and words. Let’s work from the inside.
Comments